In Love With The Letter B
by anti-viper
Summary: Princess Bubblegum was only trying to finish her cheesy Vampire romance novel. She had no need for an actual Vampire at that moment, let alone a drunk, mischievous, and flirty one. Maybe a bit of a want for one, though. And even perhaps a need, if she intends to recreate some of the book's more... distasteful moments.


_**In Love With The Letter B**_

Bonnibel Bubblegum would be hard pressed to describe how absolutely splendid the feeling of finishing a book was. Nothing really came close, in her mind. At least nothing tasteful.

At that thought, only five page turns away from the finale, the Princess found her brain clogged with slightly unbecoming images, and with a sigh set down_ The Crimson King_. It was an interesting number about a very intelligent Princess from a far off kingdom falling into a stupid, mindless, foolish affair with a completely manipulative and selfish Vampire butt. Heck, she was really only reading at this point (at least that's what she told herself) in the hopes that the protagonist's silly, loosely-made decisions would come back to bite her (pun intended) at the end.

Instead, it looked like everything was going to wind up peachy. As if kidnapping the girl should lead to that undead loser gaining the throne through her hand in marriage! And as if as such a smart member or royalty would fall for such… such a foul fiend!

Bonnibel could barely accept that the outcome she had been convincing herself she wasn't rooting for was about to fall into place. Sometimes she wished her life was that stupid and unexpected. Alas, she did not make those kinds of decisions, and she would need a viable suitor with which to share in her logistic follies even if she did…

SLAM

Cue Marceline, her human form stuck to the relatively thin window that provided the Princess's study a fresh breeze and moonlight. The Vampire Queen's saliva slathered the entirety of one frame as her wide-stretched lips twisted upward into a ghoulish and knowing smile. Her limbs and torso twisted helplessly, pleading for the pink monarch's assistance.

Bonnibel's eyebrows leapt into attention, preparing to either swoon over Marceline if she was injured or admonish the black licorice tar out of her if she was—

"PUNCH DRUNK ON ELDER TOAD JUICE AGAIN!" Marceline cried out as Bubblegum unlatched the window, the undead bassist making her way into her friend's study by means of cartwheels. Terrible, drunken cartwheels that made one wince in anticipation to the degree of watching an unicyclist in traffic or a five year old on their As Seen On TV Pogo-Stick. Meaning the Vampire promptly crashed through the wall, and then promptly giggled at what it felt like to have your leg sticking through a stone wall. Which, to an immortal with a heavy degree of pain-tolerance enhanced by inebriation, was similar to the feeling of sticking your finger into pudding.

"M-Marceline Abadeer! You drunken fool! How many times!" Bonnibel lectured, this being the third time this month such a situation had developed, picking up a nearby ruler and whipping Marceline's butt with it. The firm resulting snap led to Bubblegum blushing and realizing the sexual nature of her action.

Which of course Marceline noticed because she was all pervy and had to wash her sheets twice every week (Bubblegum hated that she knew this factoid) and would be so knowledgeable about grossness like that so she would pick up on it even when punch drunk off the Juice Of The Elder Toad.

"Whoo! That's, that's sexy Bonnie! Hit me!" Marceline giggled, wiggling her butt in the air. The Queen of Vampires continued her mid-air rock-out as Bubblegum turned around and fumed/controlled dangerous, dangerous urges/fumed/wet her lips with her sweet tongue/FUMED/"MARCELINE GLOB DAMMIT STOP SHAKING YOU REAR-END IN MY STUDY LIKE A LEWD CANDY GIRL LOOKING FOR SOME SUGAR!" The Princess screamed in one massive breath, panting as her sentence reverberated all around them and into the night via the window.

"But I do want sugar!" Marceline whispered, suddenly pulling her leg back with enough force to punt Finn seven miles, and therefore ripping the chunk of wall it was stuck in out to the Princess's very obvious horror. "Pfff…" Marceline murmured as she followed Bubblegum's eyes. "Dat's nothing." And after a sudden burst of telekinesis, the rock was indeed nothing.

"Hehe," The Vampire continued, eyeing the Princess up and down with a look she could only describe as trouble. "Yo skirt's comin' up with telekinesis!" And after a sudden burst of telekinesis, Bubblegum's skirt was indeed up, and as a result her thin, gray panties that read "I Like Fangs" on the front were revealed, automatically sending said panties into the Princess's list of worst purchases.

"Haha, 'I Like Fangs'? That is WAAAAY too hot for you, Bonnibel!" Marceline sung, giggling again to herself at how clever and embarrassing she was. The butt.

"Marceline, seriously, calm down. You know I hate it when you get like this," Bubblegum whispered through pursed and wet lips. Even if she also was secretly amused and glad for the company, Marceline's company especially, she needed to get these five pages read. The fact she was so entranced by the ending of a trashy Vampire romance novel and simultaneously delighted at Marceline's drunken arrival miffed Bubblegum. And in her usual denial, the Princess did not see the obvious connection that was finally nearing a breaking point.

"Alright, alright! Sheesh, don't be a spoil-sport," Marceline chided as she unhitched her bass-axe from her back, strumming a few chords. Bubblegum nodded in acceptance, her stony gaze descending back upon cheesy vows of eternal love. Which wouldn't even be possible from the Princess's perspective unless she actually stopped fooling around in the novel and finish her life-enhancing formulas—

"I'm gonna go get some liquorice soda, you want anything?" Marceline asked, her arms suddenly wrapping around the Princess's waist from behind.

"M-Marceline!" She stuttered, jumping forward in vain, there being no actual space to do so, colliding with her desk. "You, you are so brazen! You can't just, just hug someone!" Bonnibel directed, immediately feeling foolish about her choice of words. Spontaneous hugs were generally accepted in society, especially among friends. Marceline's smirking face made that feeling grow, and Bubblegum, desperate to have a minute alone, suddenly added, "And I'd like a water."

Without another word, the Vampire floated out of the room. She did, however, give her posterior a good, loud, visible smack as she disappeared into the hall.

Bubblegum sighed, collapsing into her desk. She couldn't even handle Marceline when she got like this… she became all annoying and rude and flirty. Then again, it wasn't all bad. She did become kind of funny, and sweet, and flirty. The Princess blushed when she realized she had mentally filed flirty into both categories.

But Marceline was just joshing… just kicking at her shins, just rattling her gumball jar. No way she actually wanted some of this gal's sugar. Right? Right. Right?

Of course the Vampire Queen would never imagine the Princess wanted any of that. It had to be teasing. Or else she would make the first move. Lest Bubblegum had to herself, which was… well, wasn't happening because she didn't feel that way! Glob.

"Ugh… she should just get it over with and suck the red out of my pretty face like she said she would…" Bubblegum muttered, her subconscious completely speaking for her now; she had to be getting exhausted if revealing and inappropriate verbiage such as that was coming out of her mouth.

"Tell me how you really feel, babe." Marceline's icy whisper fell into the delicate nub of her ear so gently that the Princess couldn't even be bothered to react in horror to what the Vampire Queen had heard. At least for a few seconds.

"Eh, uh, WHA? HUWA?" Bonnibel spouted absolute gibberish as Marceline giggled the tension away, pushing the Princess's glass of water outward.

"They only had sparkling," She said with a frown, and the Princess felt mildly touched her undead acquaintance had been empathetic enough to do so.

"Tis fine," The Princess assured her with a smile, glad they had completely departed from discussing sucking the red out of anything, even as Marceline started to make quick work out of her soda.

Bubblegum however wasted no time in appearing foolish again soon after, nearly hacking out a lung at the taste of the sparkling water. She should have just asked for sugar, she hated carbonation without cane, or at the very least corn-syrup.

Marceline smirked vividly at the pink girl's struggles, floating over quickly and wrapping her arm about the Princess's back. "No probz, Peebz… just need some mixer…" She pulled out a tiny flask that immediately sent Bubblegum's alarm bells buzzing, but she sighed in relief when she read the label: "Lemonade".

"Not the best combo, but better than nothing," Marceline murmured as she poured. Bonnibel held the glass up tentatively before taking a sip, and finding the flavor quite better.

"Thanks, Marceline," She said with a slight blush, and once again found the Vampire's arms wrapped around her, this time even tighter, her forearms like silky bowstrings as they curved into Bubblegum's love-handles.

"Drink up, babe. Maybe we'll add some bitter to that sweet yet," Marceline teased, but by now Bubblegum was up to snuff with this game, and openly chuckled at the undead girl's declaration.

"Please, you know you want to me to be as sweet as can be," She replied, pulling the Vampire's arms closer, therefore digging the chin of the older girl into the notch between her face and shoulder. Not even the breathy, satisfied grunt Marceline gave in return made her feel unease; in fact, she even let her—THE Vampire hold the drink up to her lips again, and took a nice, long swig.

At which point the amount of alcohol she had unknowingly been drinking became very, very apparent in her system based on supreme wooziness and sudden lack of brain power. Which was just great, because candy-bio-mass sucked up alcohol like Marceline's lips suck up –BLGAGHAGH – er, it sucks up a lot of alcohol. She was about wasted.

All Bubblegum got out of her strangely relaxed jaw was a thick, annoyed, "Marceline!" Such an empty threat, and her captor knew it, driving her pray downward with the demon's perversion of gravity and letting her chest's perkier areas rest on the candy Princess's back.

"Don't worry, Princess: I won't take advantage," Marceline whispered daringly, her voice jumping and quivering, clearly showing just how pleased she was at the rules she was breaking.

"You DAMNED better not!" Bubblegum hissed, hating herself for how turned on she was. "Now first off, what did you give me?!"

"Some very potent, but taste-stifled liquor," Marceline replied, her fingers already beginning to take back her pledge as they danced on the tips of the Princess's hair. "And some magic serum, along with lemonade. I suppose Ms. Know It All wants to know what the magic serum was?"

Bubblegum didn't bother trying to nod. Her desire was made clear through sheer spiritual malice.

"It's a very special concoction called Omnes Veri that does something very, very silly to the taker…" Marceline whispered as her fingers sunk ever deeper. "It makes them completely at the whim of their heart's deepest desires. I took a swig of it tonight after losing a bet, then immediately pummeled the guy who I had lost the bet to for his remainder of the stuff, and then flew here.

"And now I have you trapped, Bonnibel Bubblegum. You thought me too drunk to be smart. You were mistaken. I'm a genius drunk." The Princess tried to growl at this, and what came out was a whimper. A whimper that seemed to be begging for things she hadn't exactly been intending to convey. And somehow her aura of anger was getting a little more flowery. Much more silky, even. Glob dammit.

"I have you stuck in a hole of your own ego: I'm going to do the one thing that you can't resist, and it will make you fall for me ever so hard," Marceline concluded with obvious glee in her smooth, delicious voice.

That was an odd way to describe Marceline's voice at the moment, Bubblegum thought as she pushed off the desk violently, sending the Vampire flying backwards. The Princess, thinking slowly, but due to general intoxication assuming she was thinking fast, stumbled drunkenly around for two seconds before she turned around and plucked a candlestick off the table, her mind, the one thing in the entirety of Ooo she could completely trust on any other day, having convinced her it was a very good thing to use to defend yourself from a horny Vampire who had got you messed up.

"I knew it!" The Princess shouted as she twirled the candlestick in the air, not noticing as it fell out of its holder. "You are attracted to me!" She meant to keep every possible hint of satisfaction out of that sentence, but had a bad feeling she had failed.

"Very, and I've been trying to think about how to rectify the problem of you getting over yourself. The solution is hilarious, by the way," Marceline replied with an air of unbreakable confidence, slinging her thin form across half the room with ease. "Or are you going to try to deny you have feelings? The Omnes Veri has other ideas, don't it? I tried to fly home to my cave at first, but NOPE! Swerved in mid-air, couldn't even resist. Needed some Bubblegum to chew on."

The Princess's face became stark red as she realized Marceline was going full throttle. She was making the push, Glob it! While, while DRUNK as if there was anything more distasteful, and oh, wait, yes there was, mucked up on some "truth serum" crap she probably bought from a peddling toad that was actually just lethal chemicals…

Bonnibel sighed, trying to bring herself back down from whatever terrifying place she had just been. And then she promptly fell into more perverted dillusions and was awash with feelings of reciprocation and relief and fear and… she sighed again.

"W-We, we have a very acceptable relationship right now, and I…" Bubblegum really, really hated the fact that Marceline was seemingly able to read her mind's contents so accurately.

"I'm going to compliment you to submission," Marceline whispered cunningly, and after a moment of wide-eyed disbelief, Bonnibel broke out into laugher.

"Whoo, and here I thought you had some master-scheme!" The pink Princess said with a pumpkin grin, preparing to berate the Vampire for her ludicrous idea.

"Of course not, it is nothing like what you can devise with your mind. I would be most gracious if I ever even came close," Marceline said, her tone, which had been dripping from edge to edge with anticipation and superiority, now innocent and mild.

The Princess blinked as she tried to figure out why those words were so simultaneously off and yet incredibly pleasant to hear. Well, of course it was because she was around that smart. Maybe Marceline was exaggerating a little. Then again, maybe not. It wasn't her place to say. Or was it? If she was smarter than everyone else…

If only Bubblegum had looked up and witnessed Marceline's triumphant smile, her tongue going stark raving mad as it imitated triple spins, backflips, and wall-runs inside her mouth. Instead, the Vampire morphed her countenance back into its subdued form as the Princess embellished the one piece of praise within her mind, and added, "Oh, and don't worry about seeming… you know, egotistical. You're just so brilliant, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging it. Basking in it. You deserve at least some degree of worship. For many of your other traits as well, wouldn't you say?"

"Mmm?" Bubblegum whispered in reply, the compliments beginning to form a stream of happy feelings rather than appearing as simple droplets. "I… suppose. You think so?"

"Of, definitely!" Marceline replied with completely conviction, ignoring her sex and mustering the balls to hand Bonnibel's mixed drink back to her. Marceline's heart leapt as the reward from her risk occurred, the Princess downing the remaining liquid without hesitation. "I mean… where to begin! There's your name, for one. Bbbbbonnibbbbel Bbbbubbbbbblegum." Her lips hung on the b's like pretty birds circling tropical islands, and the ruler in front of the Vampire seemed absolutely beside herself, overrun with satisfaction.

"You've made me love the letter b, just like I love the color pink now," Marceline whispered soothingly, her spell nearly effortless by this point. Bonnibel Bubblegum."

"No! Do it like you did before! S-Spread it out!" The Princess demanded hastily as the Vampire finished. She was more than happy to oblige.

"Bbbbbbonnibbbbbel Bbbbbubbbbblegum, Marceline breathed, the Princess closing her eyes and humming along as she did. "So many luscious b's."

"Luscious? You really think so?" The Princess giggled, her hands wrapping around her sides and squeezing in pure joy.

"Oh, totally. I love a lot of other words that start with b's too… like boobs, and butt." To no surprise from the Vampire Queen, even a drunken Bonnibel reacted badly to such blatant distastefulness.

"…Eh…" She said, her voice falling quiet as Marceline's hands began to travel well worn paths upon her own body, which hung only two feet from the Princess's. That distance was much more noticeable than it had been to Bonnibel, as a small streak of drool began to plot an expedition out of her mouth.

"My favorite's though are bubble-butt, and bubble-boobs, though, because they're so thick and perfect and smell so wonderful, like an ocean of the most sweet and smooth bubblegum washing over you," Marceline finished, her own voice quivering as she fell more and more into the fantasy.

Bubblegum had been through enough. At this point, she didn't know whose body she wanted to touch more, and as a result thought a kiss was a very logical step in the right direction. She began to press the distance, but stopped, in slight shock, as one of Marceline's fingers, chiseled from so many hours of bass playing that Bonnibel could virtually hear music sing from it, scraped against her lips.

"Oh no no no, not while you're drunk. I'm going to stay up as long as it takes and purr how much I love you into your ear, and by the time I'm finished sobriety won't mean shit," Marceline said with authoritative muscle, her tongue circling around Bubblegum's head but careful not to graze the bubblegum upon it and lose all control.

There was much, much, much pleading about that decision from a thoroughly teased and quite aroused Bonnibel Bubblegum that quickly faded into the nether as Marceline began to remind her and gush about the Princess's patience, being willing to wait so long for a suitor, having spent so much time abducted by the Ice King, and everything in between.

The Vampire Queen had a lot of praise to effuse to the candy Princess that she was very well aware would never leave her mouth without the serum within her, and as such she made good use of the opportunity.

Bonnibel Bubblegum always made a point to retain modesty, but hours later, after Marceline's near coronation of her as the greatest, kindness, smartest, most successful being on all of Ooo, the Princess was riding a wave of ego virtually unparalleled.

Her skin was so wet from sweat that by the time the Vampire finished it was nearly butter. Somehow Bubblegum had ended up in Marceline's arms, and even in her now much more sobered state she seemed to be okay with this. Indeed, the more time had went on, the more aware she had become of what had transpired, but somehow she felt slightly okay about it. Not to the degree that she wasn't going to chew Marceline about it, though.

"R-Really, Marceline? Date rape?" She charged after a silence had settled, knowing the crime did not match the Vampire's actual actions.

"Oh, so I wasn't the only one who considered that to be a date?" Came Marceline's melodic comeback. "It was mighty hard holding back, to be frank with you, Bonnibel."

"…Say it the right way, Marceline," Bubblegum urged, embarrassed to find her body falling into the Vampire's.

"Bbbbbonnibbbbel," Marceline replied, taking her time per usual. "Now, about that kiss…"

The Princess felt sober, was beginning to lose the battle between lust and lack of sleep, and had gotten all the affirmative she needed. She threw her arms around Marceline's neck as if it were a life-raft and she was drowning at sea, then pulled close as if that life-raft also happened to have a really sexy Vampire's head sticking out of it, and kissed her.

Marceline seemed to shake the second of shock off very quickly, settling in quite nicely, and placing the pink girl on her feet as to avoid awkward neck cramps for the both of them. They rocked into each other over and over as both women, though Marceline moreso, were acquainted with love-making… though Bubblegum had never really done anything of this nature before.

After twenty minutes of simply sinking into each other, Marceline giggled lightly in the middle of their throws of passion, and the Princess pushed away, wondering what had distracted her. And she might have also been giving herself a breather. Lucky, stupid, sexy Vampire, not needing to breathe.

"Oh, it's just the fact you're completely unknowingly reading my terribly written story," Marceline stated, and the Princess traced her eyes to _The Crimson King_, her breath immediately flying out of her.

"YOU WROTE THAT?" Bubblegum exclaimed, immediately plucking the book off her desk and scanning over the author's name: one "Mabadelic Renear", a pen name and anagram so bloody (ugh, pun not intended) terrible the Princess immediately scowled at her inability to even question it.

"Yep, but it went through a lot of last minute changes," Marceline confirmed as she pressed in the Princess from behind, holding out her hand and waiting patiently for Bubblegum to give the book to her. "You know, various things like the Vampire playing the violin all of the time instead of the bass, the Princess wearing socks to bed rather than a shirt the Vampire had gotten her, the Vampire, oh, I don't know, originally being female, and then something trivial at the end about a massive sex session where all the previous stupidity displayed between the two characters and their raving, near psychotic lust for each other's bodies send them in a tidal, passionate rage. Some stuff like that."

"…Is, is the real version ever going to come out?" Bonnibel asked, quaking at the thought of it not.

"Yeah, right now," Marceline replied with a wicked grin, and before the Princess could say anything else she was swept off her feet and led to her bedroom.

Six hours later, Bonnibel Bubblegum woke up, her pelvis decidedly achy and the air around her wreaking with sweat. It was a true testament to Marceline's aggressiveness that this was the case, as they hadn't actually done much other than kiss. Marceline certainly had tried to, though, a good hour of their pleasure-fest consisting of heavy tongue-play while Bubblegum's hand smacked this way and that to keep the Vampire's away from her panties.

The Princess was also fairly aware she had nearly broken several times herself, but doing such things on the first date was just… distasteful. Then again, so was losing your shirt on the first date. Perhaps interactions of a sexual nature would have to be switched from the Princess's usual timeline of a year of dating to sometime sooner. Maybe six months. A month. Eh. A week is a pretty long time.

Despite wanting to either go back to sleep (and therefore cuddle with the half-naked Vampire sprawled out next to her) or take a long shower, she knew she had other business to attend to, and after donning her night gown she made her way through the castle.

Eventually, the Princess came back to her study, and picked up her book. With a satisfied sigh, she began to read the last five pages, scratching her head at times as the words seemed quite familiar.

Imagine her surprise when she realized the long list of compliments the Vampire was giving his bride were very similar to the few, oh, hundred she had listened to last night. In the final sentence, the couple kissed in triumph, and Bonnibel laid the book down, chuckling.

"Heh, book starts with b," She murmured sleepily, beginning the long trek back to her room, and more importantly her favorite novelist. Bubblegum liked the ending, but probably preferred the re-mastered version just a little bbbbit.

* * *

_And to imagine a few months ago the term sugarless gum only invoked one of my least favorite things to put in my mouth, while now it invokes ALL THE FEELS._

_There's something priceless and effortless about Marceline's ways slowly coaxing Bubblegum out of being so… uh… tasteful. _

_Writing from Bubblegum's perspective always terrifies me though. My vocabulary wanes at points when trying to write her. _

_Hopefully this is the end of procrastination. Losing power due to blizzards doesn't help either. Thanks for reading!_


End file.
